Those Phrases shared by My Dad Which Saved Me during my time as a New Father

"In my view I was merely just surviving for a year."

Former Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey anticipated to handle the difficulties of becoming a dad.

However the truth quickly turned out to be "completely different" to his expectations.

Severe health issues around the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. All of a sudden he was pushed into becoming her primary caregiver as well as taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I handled every night time, every nappy change… each outing. The job of both mum and dad," Ryan explained.

After nearly a year he reached burnout. That was when a talk with his parent, on a public seat, that led him to understand he required support.

The simple statement "You aren't in a good place. You require assistance. How can I support you?" paved the way for Ryan to speak honestly, ask for help and find a way back.

His situation is not uncommon, but infrequently talked about. Although the public is now more accustomed to discussing the strain on moms and about postpartum depression, less is said about the difficulties dads go through.

Asking for help is not weak to seek assistance

Ryan feels his struggles are linked to a broader inability to talk amongst men, who continue to internalise negative perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, tend to think they must be "the fortress that just takes the pounding and doesn't fall time and again."

"It's not a show of failure to request help. I failed to do that fast enough," he clarifies.

Mental health expert Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to acknowledge they're having a hard time.

They can believe they are "not the right person to be asking for help" - especially in preference to a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental health is vitally important to the household.

Ryan's conversation with his dad provided him with the chance to take a break - spending a short trip overseas, outside of the domestic setting, to get a fresh outlook.

He came to see he had to make a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotions as well as the logistical chores of looking after a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he realised he'd overlooked "what she needed" -holding her hand and listening to her.

Reparenting yourself'

That insight has reshaped how Ryan perceives parenthood.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his feelings as a dad, which he hopes his son will look at as he gets older.

Ryan thinks these will assist his son to more fully comprehend the vocabulary of emotion and understand his parenting choices.

The concept of "reparenting" is something artist Professor Green - whose name is Stephen Manderson - has also felt keenly since having his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen lacked consistent male a father figure. Even with having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, long-standing emotional pain caused his father found it hard to cope and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their connection.

Stephen says repressing feelings caused him to make "bad actions" when younger to change how he was feeling, finding solace in drink and drugs as an escape from the anguish.

"You turn to substances that aren't helpful," he says. "They may short-term modify how you are feeling, but they will ultimately exacerbate the problem."

Tips for Managing as a New Father

• Talk to someone - when you are swamped, tell a friend, your spouse or a therapist what you're going through. This can to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like the person you were before the baby arrived. Examples include playing sport, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Look after the body - eating well, staying active and where possible, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your mental state is coping.
• Connect with other first-time fathers - sharing their stories, the challenges, along with the positive moments, can help to normalise how you're experiencing things.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - prioritising your own well-being is the optimal method you can support your loved ones.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen understandably found it hard to accept the death, having been out of touch with him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's resolved not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead provide the stability and emotional guidance he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a outburst, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - managing the emotions constructively.

The two men Ryan and Stephen explain they have become improved and more well-rounded men due to the fact that they faced their pain, transformed how they talk, and learned to manage themselves for their sons.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and dealing with things," says Stephen.

"I put that down in a note to Leo the other week," Ryan shares. "I said, at times I believe my role is to instruct and tell you on life, but in reality, it's a exchange. I am understanding as much as you are on this path."